Thursday, March 21, 2013

Thought Provoking Thursday - Barefoot Sandals

Today’s topic: Barefoot sandals, adorable foot accessory, OR one more unnecessarily adorned step toward the decline of society as we know it?  You be the judge.

Have you seen these barefoot sandal things?  I first saw them for babies, and I thought, “okay, yeah that would be cute for a photo shoot or something maybe”, and then I started seeing them everywhere.  Barefoot sandals for beach weddings, barefoot sandals just because.  Barefoot sandals made out of ribbons, crocheted barefoot sandals, beaded barefoot sandals. It’s all starting to get ridiculous.

However, before I totally discounted this new trend, I wanted to look at both sides of the issue for a fair and accurate assessment of this new foray into dorsal pedis ornamentation (you like that? – it took a full 5 minutes of googling medical terminology to come up with that phrase!).

Ahem, okay, let’s start with the “Adorable foot accessory” stance.

-Other than socks or baby booties it might possibly be the only halfway practical infant footwear.

Everyone knows that one person who went out and bought a pair of $50 baby Nike’s for a 2 month old. Babies don’t need shoes because, NEWSFLASH, babies don’t walk. Junior isn’t going to need that non slip sole okay – not even when he starts rolling over. “My baby walked at 3 weeks because of those mini Air Jordan’s I got him”SAID NO ONE EVER!

-They are adorable for photos.

              I happen to think that baby feet are adorable enough in themselves, but if your child is cursed with abnormally ugly feet even as an infant, what better way to disguise them?

-They actually kind of make sense for a beach wedding.

                It’s one day, your day and you’re having a beautiful ceremony right there on the beach where you two first met.  You had fallen asleep and had 2nd degree burns on your back, he smacked you squarely between the shoulder blades with a volleyball.  Now as you stand in that same spot exchanging your vows, you can glance down at your green beaded barefoot sandals and be reminded of those blissful early days of your relationship when he used an entire vat of aloe vera gel to soothe your pain and win your heart.
That's all I've got for the "pro" side of this debate.

Now onto the “Decline of society” stance:

- First off, the name is an oxymoron.  “Barefoot” indicating that there is nothing on your foot!!! And then “sandal” which is defined as – well something on your foot!
san·dal 1 (s n dl)  n.

1. A shoe consisting of a sole fastened to the foot by thongs or straps.

2. A low-cut shoe fastened to the foot by an ankle strap.

3. A rubber overshoe cut very low and covering little more than the sole of the shoe.

4. A strap or band for fastening a low shoe or slipper on the foot.

Now I know there are a lot of oxymorons out there and they’re used every single day, like “useful man” or “delicious vegan dish”, but as a general rule, I really think they should be avoided at all costs.

Could no one come up with a more accurate monicker?  How about 'Toe floss', 'Foot thong', 'Ankle Bib', . . .

-The top of your foot doesn’t need adornment.  Lots of people have issues with their feet.  Most people hate their toes.  Toenail fungus runs amock, athlete’s foot can be debilitating, dry cracked heels are an epidemic, and don’t even get me started on hammer toes.  But none of these issues  are on the top of the foot?  Who wants to hide the top of their foot and bring more attention to their kankles? Personally, the top of my foot might be my most flawless feature.  I don’t want to cover that up.

-Where are you going to wear these? On the beach, okay I suppose but who wears jewelry (even foot jewelry) to the beach?  And think of the tan line that baby is going to cause! Plus have you ever walked on hot sand? Hello, that toe floss ain’t going to be much good when you’ve got 100 yards of boiling sand to traverse. 

Here you’ll see that someone was clever enough to take the barefoot sandal phenomenon out of the beach and into the work place by pairing them with some pumps.  This looks ridiculous.  They’re like lace spats and spats are the shoe versions of a dicky.  Nobody needs a foot dicky – NOBODY.

Well I know which way I’m leaning, but I’m going to let you all make your own decision. Leave me a comment and give me your take!

1 comment:

Chips and Salsa with Beans said...

Omgosh! I have no idea how I stumbled across your blog but this post was hysterical :D I totally lol'd
I have to say, I'm with ya one this one.
Barefoot sandal=ridiculousness
Thanks for the laugh!