Like high school but without the acne

I’m not in general the best person in social situations. Small talk pretty much scares the hell out of me. It’s not my forte. I never know what to say, or I’m afraid whatever I do say is going to make me sound stupid. It stems from a pretty healthy fear of rejection I think. My close friends and my husband have great fun pointing out my social ineptness and therefore I’m trying to slowly but surely make more of an effort to overcome said deficiencies.

I figured that perhaps some sort of online chat situation would be a non-intimidating avenue to explore. Plus, I’m also eager to promote my Etsy shop and make more crafty connections and therefore the Etsy Chat seemed like the perfect thing to do. I boldly logged in and browsed the active chats. I chose a Vintage chat since I’m pretty keen on vintage stuff and with one click of my mouse I was in on the chat.

I had some problems initially with my pop up blocker not allowing me to see some of the stuff on screen. However, once I got that issue resolved I was greeted warmly and was prepared to chat!

It was awful! It was like high school all over again. There were inside jokes that I didn’t get, there was slang that I didn’t understand – I get LOL but there was BRB and PYT and TLC and R-E-S-P-E-C-T – okay, maybe that’s not exactly the acronyms used, but the point is that I didn’t know what the hell they were talking about half the time. I didn’t have any burning questions to ask these complete strangers, I didn’t see any threads of conversation that I felt I could add input to without coming off as a complete dork.

I finally just gave up and left. I felt embarrassed and exposed – like I’d just walked around the entire dance floor at prom and then realized that the back of my dress had been caught in the waist of my pantyhose. Terrible.

I think I just need some more experience. Maybe next time I’ll look for a chat room with only one desperate person in there waiting for someone to talk to. Of course then I’ll feel the pressure of being the only source of conversation.
Man, it sucks to be socially inept.